My loves, this phrase has come through for me before, and this morning, while I was sitting quietly and reading what I call the lattice, it came through again: Remember to dare. Speak when silence is safer. Act when doubt takes over. And after yesterday, I understood why it was coming back to me. Yesterday I spoke about some things that were incredibly difficult for me to speak about. I said my truth. I established boundaries. I talked about the “daddies,” LOL. I put things publicly into words that would have been much easier for me to keep inside. And afterward, I had to sit with how that actually felt, because I don’t think people always realize that being strong enough to establish boundaries doesn’t mean establishing them doesn’t hurt. Sometimes the boundary hurts precisely because you love the people standing on the other side of it. Sometimes speaking is difficult precisely because silence would have been safer.
I have very strong boundaries, but those boundaries didn’t appear out of nowhere. I’ve been through a lot in my life, including experiences with people who were close to me and who were supposed to protect or care for me. Somewhere along the way, I learned that showing someone where you hurt could sometimes give them a map of where to hurt you again. Expressing pain, crying, admitting weakness, or simply saying, “This hurt me,” could feel dangerous because once another person knew where that tender place was, there was always the possibility they could use it against you. Think about a bully discovering the one thing you’re insecure about. Suddenly, that becomes the thing they reach for every time they want a reaction. Eventually, you learn to protect those places. You learn how to stand tall. You learn how to survive. But sometimes you also learn to stay silent when what you actually need is to speak.
And that’s actually where I found myself this morning, my loves. I woke up with this feeling that wasn’t shame. I wasn’t embarrassed about what I said yesterday. I was upset that I ever had to say it that way in the first place. I think somewhere inside me I had always hoped all of this would eventually be settled behind closed doors. I repeatedly didn’t want things to come out this way. I didn’t want this to become something where the entire world gets to project its thoughts, anger, judgments, and opinions onto the people I have been talking about, because despite everything, none of us my loves are perfect beings and that includes the divine and galactic. I certainly am not. We are all learning, sweethearts. We are constantly fucking up. Sometimes we move through ego. Sometimes accountability is difficult. Sometimes vulnerability feels almost impossible, especially when someone is intelligent, powerful, highly positioned, or simply accustomed to being perceived a certain way. Imagine having to turn around and say, “You know what? Yes, we did these things. Yes, we lied. Yes, we took. Yes, we became greedy. Yes, we did something we should not have done, and it was wrong.” Whether you’re talking about an individual, an institution, or even a country, that kind of accountability isn’t easy. What nation wants its people discovering that something entirely different may have been happening behind the image they were shown? What happens to people’s hope when what they believed they were looking at and what they eventually believe was happening behind the scenes no longer resemble each other?
And I think about that especially with this country, because even our national motto says, “In God We Trust.” We put those words on our money. We invoke God in places where technically we don’t have to. I’m not going down that entire road today, LOL, because that’s another conversation. But my point is that when people perceive an enormous distance between the values presented to them and the behavior they believe is happening behind the scenes, truth can become destabilizing. People start asking, “Then why should I even try? Why should I believe in anything? Why should I keep trying to be good when everything around me seems to tell me it doesn’t matter?”
Oh, my loves, I have had those moments myself. So many of them. I’m crying even writing this because there have been times when I’ve sat there and thought, Why the fuck do I need to keep going for them? Why the fuck do I need to keep trying to be open and loving? Why even try? I’ve had moments when I’ve felt like humanity is never going to change, that maybe we should simply keep moving forward and whoever can’t catch up gets left behind. But I can’t do that. I can’t let go of any being that easily. That’s part of why I keep doing this. I don’t care about the looks. I don’t care about appearing weird. I don’t care about somebody laughing at me or misunderstanding me. I just keep hoping something reaches somebody.
Last night before I went to sleep, that was what I asked of the universe: Please let something reach them. Please let them hear something. Because I never wanted this. I wanted to work with people behind the scenes. I wanted whatever eventually became public to be presented through healing, understanding, accountability, and growth—not humiliation. And two years is a long time, my loves. Even when somebody is doing something that hurts you, two years is a long time to care about them. Anybody who has ever loved a family member who wasn’t good for them probably understands some part of what I’m saying. Sometimes you stay because you love them. Sometimes you worry that if you walk away, everything will fall apart for them. Sometimes you’re worried that leaving will hurt them even more, and because you love them, you keep carrying something that is hurting you. But eventually you have to remember that you are somebody you are responsible for protecting too.
So when I woke up this morning, I didn’t want to talk anymore. I didn’t want to try anymore. Not because I regretted speaking and not because I was ashamed. I simply didn’t want any of this to have happened the way it did. But then I came back to the same thing that has kept me moving through so much of this: if I believe something needs to be said for the good of the whole, then remaining silent because speaking hurts me doesn’t help the whole either. I have to speak what I understand to be true even when it’s scary, even when it isn’t what everybody wants to hear, and even when I would personally prefer silence. I’m not doing that because I want chaos. I’m doing it because I care. I want everybody there. That’s the simplest way I can explain it. I want everybody to have the opportunity to grow, to heal, to learn, and to see what this world will be, because it isn’t always going to look like it does right now, my loves. I wouldn’t work this fucking hard if I did. The timeline is already showing different.
And maybe that’s why those words returned this morning: Remember to dare. Speak when silence is safer. Act when doubt takes over. Because I was doubting whether speaking would change anything. Part of me wanted to become quiet and disappear into my work again. Instead, I decided to speak. I started with those posts this morning, and now I’m starting here, with this article, before we move into everything else I’m going to share today. Maybe that’s what daring actually looks like sometimes. You don’t know whether your voice will change anything. You don’t know whether the people you desperately want to reach will hear you. You speak anyway. And tomorrow, if doubt comes back, you do it again. That’s how I’ve always moved through things, my loves. I keep going.
And I want to talk about shame here because I think this is something almost everybody can understand. Let’s use a completely human example. Imagine that when you were younger, you sent somebody an intimate picture. Hell, let’s use me, LOL. Maybe I sent somebody a titty pic. Maybe there are conversations or pictures or videos of me somewhere that somebody could theoretically pull out years later and say, “Look at this.” I’m not embarrassed by being a sensual woman, and I don’t believe consensual sexuality between adults makes someone dirty, lesser, or unworthy of respect. But I also understand the world we live in. A sensual woman can quickly be reduced to “ho” or “slut,” while a man’s sexual behavior can be used to construct an entirely different judgment about who he supposedly is. Obviously, consent matters—I’m not telling anybody to start launching unsolicited dick pics across planet Earth, LOL. I’m talking about consensual exchanges between adults who understood what they were participating in at the time.
Now imagine years pass. You’ve changed. You’ve grown. You’ve built something. Maybe you’ve become extremely successful or publicly visible. Then somebody takes that old picture or conversation and slips it underneath the proverbial door to the media without the context surrounding it. Suddenly everybody is looking at one frozen piece of your life and being invited to construct an entire identity around it. And what is the instinct? Shrink. Hide. Explain. Cover yourself. Tell everybody why you did it. Convince them you’re not the person they’re being encouraged to believe you are. Maybe even apologize for something you weren’t ashamed of until somebody else told you that you should be.
That moment is what I want my loves to recognize.
Because the real power isn’t pretending you’ve never done anything somebody else could judge. The power is reaching a place where another person’s judgment doesn’t get to rewrite your relationship with yourself. Maybe that picture exists. Okay. Maybe you made a decision ten years ago you wouldn’t make today. Okay. Maybe you would make the exact same decision today, LOL. Okay. Maybe you’ve been messy. Maybe you’ve been sensual. Maybe you’ve failed spectacularly. Maybe you’ve trusted somebody you shouldn’t have trusted. Maybe you’ve loved somebody who hurt you. Maybe you’ve said something stupid, cried when you wished you hadn’t, stayed too long, left too early, or shown somebody a piece of yourself they didn’t deserve to receive. You are still you.
That’s why learning to validate yourself instead of surviving entirely on outside validation matters so much. If somebody else possesses the authority to tell you whether you’re worthy, they also possess the ability to make you feel unworthy. If somebody else gets to decide whether you’re lovable, respectable, intelligent, beautiful, successful, spiritual, sensual, strong, or good, then you’re constantly waiting for somebody outside of you to hand you permission to exist comfortably inside yourself. And, my loves, people are learning too. People project. People misunderstand. People judge things they haven’t experienced. Sometimes people intentionally reach for whatever they believe will slow somebody else down, embarrass them, diminish them, or make them surrender control of their own story. You cannot build your entire relationship with yourself around whether everybody else handles you correctly.
And maybe that is part of what yesterday was for me.
Speaking wasn’t easy simply because I knew what I wanted to say. Having boundaries didn’t magically remove the emotion underneath them. I love the individuals I was talking about. That matters. I don’t want yesterday to become something I live inside forever, because my purpose matters more to me than remaining trapped inside hurt. But moving forward doesn’t require pretending something didn’t hurt. Sometimes moving forward requires finally saying that it did. Sometimes courage isn’t standing on a mountain screaming at the world. Sometimes courage is letting your voice shake and speaking anyway. Sometimes it is admitting, “I love you, and this hurt me.” Sometimes it is refusing to become smaller just because being smaller would make everyone else more comfortable.
That is what remember to dare means to me this morning.
Daring doesn’t always mean doing something enormous. Sometimes daring is refusing shame. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to be seen without immediately explaining yourself. Sometimes it is establishing a boundary with somebody you desperately wish you didn’t need a boundary with. Sometimes it is loving someone while still saying no. Sometimes it is looking directly at the thing somebody thinks could embarrass you and saying, “Yes, that’s part of my story too. Now what?” LOL.
We are all learning here. Earth my loves is one giant gym. We come here, we exercise parts of ourselves, we struggle, we expand, we fall flat on our asses sometimes, LOL, and hopefully we get back up having learned something we didn’t understand before. Nobody arrives already knowing everything. You’re asleep my loves. That is the point if you remembered all the times you came and experienced then the magic of you would be revealed before the growing and expanding my loves. So growth doesn’t require us to pretend our past never happened. Growth asks us to integrate it. Take what taught you. Take what strengthened you. Take what showed you where you still needed healing. Take what revealed your boundaries. Take what taught you compassion. And then keep moving.
So this is what came through for the collective this morning, my loves, and I’m sharing it because maybe somebody else needs the reminder too: Remember to dare. Speak when silence is safer. Act when doubt takes over. Not because you won’t be afraid. Not because speaking won’t hurt. Not because everybody will understand you. And certainly not because everybody will agree with you.
Do it because there comes a point when being completely yourself becomes more important than being safely misunderstood.
And when that moment comes, don’t shrink.
Dare. ❤️
Love Your Silvia ❤️
PS. LOL if one day you see a tit or cookie pic of me or something more know that I enjoyed every minute of it LMAO and well you’re welcome my loves....LOLOLOL
Also um truth my loves I’ve done a lot of things am not a saint and well not a sinner am both LOL...and you know why?
Because my loves allll beings are both...that is balance.
Shame is what comes when you are not claiming both hence why I say over and over your messiness is loved and accepted and well you have free will my loves...your not wrong or messed up... just you. And a part of the beginning expressing itself organically to expand the consciousness...that is why humanity is so special you humans feel and experience differently which when you are living in union with yourself you expand it farther and faster.
Soo love yourselves my loves...I love you...